


Reformation.

by Agentrogers17



Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Bucky Barnes Recovering, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Self Confidence Issues, Steve Rogers mentioned - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-10
Updated: 2016-09-10
Packaged: 2018-08-14 06:56:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8002678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Agentrogers17/pseuds/Agentrogers17
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky Barnes is a man who hates what he has become after HYDRA got him. He hates everything he did as Winter Soldier, every person he killed... He regrets everything. He thinks he is a monster who will always be something to hate. But you can't help but fall in love with him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Reformation.

**_I ask him to look me in the eye when I come home_ **

 

“Bucky? Are you in here?” I asked as I took of my shoes and hanged my jacket. “Buck?” I called for him one more time as I stepped into the living room. Steve was at mission for 2 weeks so Bucky was staying with me. He didn’t like being alone much. He didn’t talk but he liked to feel the presence of another person with him. 

“Buck…” I said as I saw him sitting in the middle of room his face in his hands. Another flashback probably.

“Hey Buck…” I said and layed my hand on his shoulder. I felt the tensef muscles on his shoulder relax a bit.

“Hey (Y/n).” he said in a whisper. Voice filled with pain.

“What happened dear? Are you okay?” 

“I just… I was sleeping and… A nightmare… A memory…”

“From Winter or 40es?” I asked.

“Winter.”

“Did it cause another episode?” I asked sitting next to him.

“No. Not that kind of nightmare. Not this time. I saw myself. I saw what I did.”

“What did you do Bucky? You know you can tell me. And you know I don’t like it when you lock everything inside. You need to talk. You need to get it out of your system.” I said softly.

 

**_Why do you deny yourself heaven?_ **

 

“I am a monster (Y/n).” He said.

“No. No darling you are not a monster. I know you are not a monster, Cap knows you are not a monster, team knows you are not a monster, everybody knows it Buck. And you should too. You are not a monster. If anything… You are a victim. They hurt you, they made terrible things to you and… And none of it was your fault!” I said laying my head on his arm.

“But I killed them (Y/n)! I killed all of them. I cut down their throats, I stabbed them in their hearts, I hurt them, I killed them. I am a murderer.”

“HYDRA is a murderer. HYDRA is monster. You are not. You are my sweet cupcake.”

“I killed them…”

 

**_Why do you consider yourself undeserving?_ **

 

“I need to leave.”

“Where will you go darling? What will you do?”

“I can’t stay with you. I can’t poison your life too.”

“You are not poisoning my life Bucky. You make me happy. I love all these times Steve is needed somewhere on the other side of the world and I get to spend my time with you.”

“What if I hurt you?”

“You would never hurt me.”

“What if I will lose control and he will hurt you?”

“It won’t be you. You won’t lose control. You never do.”

“I did last month! I did 6 weeks ago!”

“But you never lose control here. When you are with me you are my Bucky!”

“I don’t deserve you.”

“You do. You deserve the world.”

 

**_Why are you afraid of love?_ **

 

I held his hands thightly in mine and kissed his metal wrist.

“I love you Bucky.” I said softly smiling.

“You shouldn’t.”

“But I do. I love you more than anything.”

“You shouldn’t. I am not worth it.”

“Bucky. Darling.”

“No. No (y/n). Look what I am! Look at all the things I had done!”

“You are James Buchanan Barnes! All those things you said you had done were not done by you. Winter Soldier did it! Just because this body did it doesn’t mean this mind decided!”

“But this hands killed.”

“But they are not killing anymore.”

“(Y/n)...”

 

**_You think it’s not possible for someone like you._ **

 

“Bucky… Come on…” I said he didn’t say anything for last 10 minutes. I took his face in my hands and kissed his cheekbone softly.

“You shouldn’t do that.” he said a soft blush on his cheeks.

“I should do that more.” I said smiling. I loved the warmth of his skin. I loved the way he reacted. Shy, happy trying to hide it.

“(Y/n)...”

“I love you Bucky. And I won’t let you go just because you think you are not worth it.”

 

**_But you are the love of my life._ **

 

I leaned to him and pressed my lipd to his. First he was frozen, still… But it didn’t stop me I kept kissing him because he was wrong. He needed to realise how wrong he was. I loved him. He needed to know how much I loved him. My hands slided to the back of his neck and I pulled him to myself. 

 

**_love of my life_ **

 

His hands found their way around my waist and he squezed my hips. His hands were one soft one hard, one warm one cold. He started kissing me. His lips warm maybe even hot against mine. He sucked my lower lip gently and his human hand found its way to my hair and he massaged my head softly. 

 

**_the love of my life_ **

 

I moaned into the kiss. My moan was lost in his mouth. He smiled softly.

“I love you Buck.” I whispered to his lips.

“You shouldn’t…”

“I really don’t give a fuc about thay right now.”

“(Y/n) I am a mistake.”

“Nope. You are not. But even if you are a mistake… You are the best mistake of my life.”

“I love you too.”

“Oh Bucky.” I said and kissed him one more time. This time I climbed to his lap. Hid hands went to grab my ass.

“Is this okay?” he asked as he cupped my ass.

“Bucky… I love you and I am comfortable with you. You can touch me as long as you want. But promise me something…” I said.

“Anything for you.”

“No more closing yourself, no more hiding our feelings, no more I don’t deserve you bullshit. We will be together, we will stay together. Promise me Bucky. You and me till the end of the time.” 

“I promise you doll… I promise you, you and me till the end of the time. Always. Forever.”

  
**_the love of my life._ **

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading please leave kudos and comments.
> 
> I am open for requests.


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